Jupiter Ascending get’s a caning
March 7, 2015
What an elaborate and ornate pile of horse shit this was. The new Wachowski movie is to be honest a complete mess. The Universe is ruled by an Uber Intergalactic Royal family – of sorts – like some demented fashion house out of Milan – named Abraxas (reading Boyd Rice have they?) – made up of two faggy brothers who are the non threatening villains and one demented sister who wants to stay looking young forever. They secretly rule and keep Earth around – only to harvest us all for some youth serum – ala Space Vampires – or some other such rubbish. Along comes interstellar faggy space hunk Channing Tatum (who else?) with gay magic shoes to save some toilet cleaner from Russia who is REALLY an interstellar Princess, then Sean Bean turns up who used to have a pair of gay magic wings, on and on the fey exposition goes. You could not invent a more stupid story if you tried, really. It’s all lavishly done, of course – not without some style and pazazz at times – with nods to Dune (Lynch and Jodorowski’s versions) and Gilliam’s Brazil (with a cameo from Gilliam himself), etc. But it all just feels like a gigantic and uber decadent complete waste of time – both theirs and the audiences. Not a lot of fun to watch and drowning in the over use of CGI. I mean it’s almost a perfect example of contemporary Hollywood excess and decadence – that in the end does not really work or hold together. And it’s been a flop too. So there that is. Must of cost more to make than the Gross National Product of some small countries. The Wachowski’s have been off the boil even since Larry had the chop and became Lana. The film in essence lacks balls. hehe. It’s all so confusing – like their convoluted plots. Anyway, mad fans of The Matrix and their other films may like it. I did not – but it was worth seeing.