Attention Generation Y

February 2, 2008

Dear Citizens,

The following ten mandates are compulsory activities that you must participate in to be considered normal between the ages 18 to 35. Failure to do so in extreme cases may require certain measures to be taken by us (only if necessary and only if your actions get out of hand… which we admit is extremely rare these days). The Action we take will not always be in your best interest. You have been warned. Citizens obey these goodly laws!

1. You must fall in love and spend all your time consumed with feelings and thoughts of love. When one exchange ends desperately seek another. Love is all you need, remember, what the Beatles said! Love. Love. Love. Puppy dogs. Furry Cats. Cute ducks all in a row. Spend all your time thinking of love and pursuing love interests. Do not get disillusioned when reality intrudes on you. Love, love, love… then die.

2. You must stay juvenile and play all kinds of games that amused you as children. Enjoy liberally video games, mild sports, light entertainment, pop and rock music and concerts galore, comedy shows, festivals of all sorts, etc., etc… especially those of a childish and innocent nature. Stay young forever. Never grow up. Remain a child in your heart. Children are much easier to control than adults. We saw what happened at the beginning of the last century when you grow up into dreaded adults. Anyway, we are the adults. Since WW2 and the baby bomber generation it has been decided you all must remain children. Do so.

3. You must protest peacefully in the streets any human rights abuses or wrongful actions by us whether we come from the USA or Europe. Do all this while you safely sit behind the protection of the walls of the West in the giant Green Zone we have created for you that extends from the former walls of Eastern Europe to the waters of Perth. You are safe here. We respect and duly note all your objections to our policies and apologize in advance for any upset or angst it may cause you. Please do not hesitate to write your thoughts and feelings to our Propaganda department. We will happily publish and share your feelings with others for polite discussion and debate.

4. You must always uphold the principles of democracy and democratic rights. So what if, as some dissidents may say, democracy is mob rule, the lowest common denominator, populism or maintenance of the status quo. You get to change our representative every ten years or more. So quit complaining. It will do no good.

5. You must never believe in any forms of truly revolutionary government against the benign Western Capitalist system. To do so is tantamount to terrorism. To even write about such, a potential thought crime. Remember you are all children in love and that all you need is love and that love is all that we give you. Do not get frustrated by the system. Do not ever think for yourselves. Do not ever use Violence. Do not ever support Terrorism in any form. Or else you will end up like David Hicks. Even though we admit his treatment was a little unfair and worthy of financial compensation perhaps.

6. Socialism and Communism are encouraged and de riguer in your twenties until you marry, mate and have a mortgage. Read Marx and the vast literature that surrounds him. But do not become a true revolutionary. Marx and others are really like a fashion statement like that Che T Shirt. Enjoy it as aesthetics and then forget it. Then it’s Labor or Liberal, Republican or Democrat, Tory or Labor …sorry.

7. You must all read literature and introduction books to Philosophy, Politics, Ethics and Human Rights. Especially Alain De Botton style works and BBC style introductions, these are perfect for your needs. Do not read too closely, though, we advise. Remember Post Modernism’s main dictums: there is no truth, if there is any it’s all relative, everything has already been done and thought… so all that remains is to sort through the wreckage of our culture. Sort away. Sort away forever and ever. We have given you an endless task with no meaning. Enjoy! Read only the most famous book of a well known author. Only read books that exist or at least can co-exist within the Western Liberal Humanist Canon. Only read books published by mainstream publishers. Other books can be read, but to condemn them only and to see what evil is truly like.

8. Do not believe in anything religious and if you must believe in religion do so as a fashion or outward sign of conformity like going to Church on Sundays to alleviate your conscience and beg for your sins. You are a human being descended from apes. A tiny piece of dust in the universe that is utterly meaningless. We have worked everything out and there is nothing more you need know. Religion is interesting from a historical perspective only. Give generously though to religious and all charities… not from a belief in a god but from your belief in the brotherhood of all humanity. From Love. It will make you feel so much better. If you are a celebrity like Bono, Bob Geldof or Oprah make sure all your giving is fully broadcast and duly recorded so you can be praised by us while alive and beautified by us after you are gone. You are not a real saint, just a top notch A list celebrity. Hallelujah!

9. Do not hold any elitist beliefs on religion, race, nationalism, culture, gender. Unless covertly sanctioned by us.

10. You must all take drugs of some sort. Whether it be alcohol, cigerettes or light recreational drugs like E and marijuana. When these get too much for you we recommend prescription medication for all your needs. Valium or Xanax for mild anxiety. Anti Depressent’s later if needed. The world is not depressing… it is you that are depressed. The world is not wrong, you are. You are sick. You need our help, our technologies will keep you well. Lie back take a pill, feel better, everything is under control. Go to sleep, go to sleep.

More instructions to follow. Obey them. Complain a bit if you like online. The internet is freedom. It is the ultimate democracy. You are all allowed to speak, just no one of any import will every listen. Just don’t do anything to really change things. Do not crave power – Ever. Do not read Histories of people who have changed things or achieved real power and change – Ever. Do not whatever you do ACT on these ideas – Ever, Ever. Just sleep. We love you so very, very much.

Channelled (unwillingly) by Richard Wolstencroft, under psychic duress, from the ether.

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