I am Legend… no your not

January 11, 2008


Normally big Hollywood pap interests me less and less these days…but a remake of The Omega Man. That I gotta see!

I recently got the DVD to Vincent Price’s The Last Man on Earth. This was fucking classic. I mean ‘Night of The Living Dead’ good. I was amazed I had never watched it before. It rivals The Omega Man for treatment of the Mathieson I am Legend novella.

So expectations were high…

Bad Omen: Will Smith. This guy sucks in just about everything. His over earnest performances are legend. He’s fine in Rom/Com pap like Hitch and the Fresh Prince but serious stuff like Ali, I Robot and The Pursuit of Happiness and it’s over acting city. The poster for I am Legend gave us the famous glare of Will Smith saying this time “I’m worried I’m the only person left on the planet”. I was prepared though to dig Smith and just roll with him as he confronts “The Family”. I wondered who was cast as Mathias…

Well, they fucked this up royally. Smith overacts and is absurdly earnest throughout. The film has no grim humour like The Omega Man or The Last Man on Earth. The Character of Mathias (best performed by the excellent Anthony Zerbe in The Omega Man) is now a digital video game monster… who does not even speak! The villainous night crawlers have had all they’re personality removed and are now generic CGI ‘Doom’ style monsters (video game tie in out there, I imagine). They move quickly, but are dead boring. CGI is now an excuse in Hollywood for shit creatures, monsters and villains. Bring back the Latex creatures and stop motion any day instead of this shit. CGI generally always looks fake, by the way… except when a good director like Verhoeven, (early) Cameron or Cronenberg uses it. Get that through your head people. It’s meant to look real or do not use it!

The drama of ‘Legend’ is dull and includes a five-minute ad for Shrek of all things. Some of the scenes of an empty New York are nice and effective. But soon a fake looking flock of wilder beast fuck it all up running through the streets… with absurd CGI-only-possible camera angles to further ruin the ruined NYC majesty. The film’s direction is poor especially in the second half of the pic where it should really begin to cook. Smith is miscast. The Villains are dull. The love interest token. Basically, it’s a titanic expensive turd that offends the spirit of the first two classic movies. Spend 15 bucks to find out…I dare you.

What is up with Hollywood always fucking up these golden opportunities to remake truly classic gems? Can anyone really direct these blockbuster movies in Hollywood with any vision anymore? More on these perplexing questions later.

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